Today is my special day. After years and years of vying for an award and selling my soul to any takers, my moment in the spotlight has finally arrived. And wouldn’t you know it, that little clique of award winners has a secret party every year to celebrate its glories, and this year circumstances forced them to invite me. So I’m all dressed up fancy like, waiting for my white stretch Hummer to whisk me away and let the festivities begin. I hope there’s dancing! 

Truth be told, I’m a bit nervous. Actually I haven’t been this nervous since Jenny Cho stood me up for the senior prom, but that was okay, it wasn’t me, it was her. And years later we’re still facebook friends. Maybe I’ll take a pill.